I am still in my slump. I know it will be over soon. We got the house all taken care of, where we lived prior to my move to my apartment. That has been a big stress that has been hanging over me for some time. There was still this connection that I had with Ron, that was going to stay until we got the house situation settled. I felt like once that was over with there was chapter in my life that would finally be closed. Now I need to deal with other issues. He wont let go and keeps thinking that I am just going through some sort of phase. I know he expects me to tell him to "come home". I wont do that, I have made up my mind and need to go on with my life. And because of the type of person that I am, or have been my whole life, I don't know how to say it to him. I do have a counselor that I will be meeting with tomorrow and I am hoping that I will get the guidance that I need. I do feel like I get stronger and stronger all of the time, but I just want all of this to be over with, so I can go on with my new life.
Poem of the day~
Who am I? I don't think I ever have known
The part of me that died, has now for ever flown
So as I start this venture of self discovery
I will continue on this path to find out who is me
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4 comments:
Molly,
You are so wise to have help during this time. I have sought counseling numerous times in my life, and was so glad I had someone to help get me through some tough situations.
One thing you might think about in regard to Ron, is that it is kinder to be honest with him. You strike me as a person who would never inflict any kind of pain on anyone, but the sooner he realizes you are moving on, the sooner he will be able to move on as well.
Love & Light,
Mary
Mary, you are right. I dont like hurting people, it just isnt in my nature. Also, I know that by not being as honest with him as I should, I am hurting him too. I realize that I need to tell him. Part of me is afraid of him, so I dont tell him all I should because of that. I need to get the guidance to help me find out the way to do this, and by meeting with this counselor I am sure I will find the strenght I need. Thank you so much Mary, you are a great lady.
Being afraid of him is a different ballgame altogehter, Molly. I've been there and I know exactly what you are feeling.
Do what you need to do to protect yourself if you are afraid he will be violent and don't take chances. It isn't worth it. There are people who can help. If you need other resources there, let me know and I will ask Youlon or you can ask him yourself...he'll be glad to help. You should have his email and phone. He's dealt with lots of those situations in his work. Call me if you want to talk...405-478-0752.
Mary
He has never physically hurt me, and he claims he never would, but there is this feeling that I have, based on his cruel words and his temper that make me think that I should be careful. I try never to be alone with him. I always make sure that someone else is with me when he is around. I know of some good resources too, should it come down to violence. My apartment complex too is very secure, there is no way to get into the building unless you have an access card, same goes for the parking garage. There is also a 24 hour patrol. so Jess and I feel pretty safe.
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