When I was 5 years old, I learned from my parents that my brother, who at the time was only 15, was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. My parents never held the truth from me. They explained in detail to me, what was happening and what he was involved with. We struggled with this, as a family for years. And since we lived in a foreign country at the time, after a while my father decided that maybe this was not the best place for an American, who was involved with drugs, was the best place to be. So after dealing with this issue for more than 10 years, my father took a demotion and we all moved back to the United States. But of course, the story was, that we were “transferred” back to the US.

We moved to the country, bought a farm. Multiple counselors and multiple drug treatment facilities, all over the country didn’t help. As we all know, until you are ready, and until you reach the so called bottom, you will never change. So years went by and trouble always followed him. My mom’s jewelry all disappeared, my dads gun collection, gone. My brother would disappear for months, only to reappear again. I learned all about heroin, cocaine, marijuana, at such a young age. Saw the tracks on my brothers arms, saw what alcohol can do to a person, to a family.

I was my brother’s counselor. He would come to me when he would be drunk or high and discuss his problems with me. I was 14 years old and giving advice to my 25 year old brother. Was that fair? Who knows. But I have found out along lifes path that I am a good listener.

Sometimes when people present their problems to you, they don’t want you to solve them. They just want someone to listen to them.

Poem of the day~

Much too young I was to understand
The things you did to them

They never held the truth from me
Though young I was back then

You always had to lie and cheat
and everything you stole

From the ones that loved you most
Missing was your soul

You cheated death a thousand times
Only to come back

The times you should have died
I have since lost track

And though you are still with us
There will always be the shame

The life that you could have led
Will never be the same


Goals/Accomplishments~

I was really bad last night, I did not go to the gym. Got home from work kind of early and finished reading a book. I had bought a new book on Sunday and finished reading it on Monday. So to make up for not working out last night I was at the gym at 5:00 this morning and swam 15 laps. I also have my water aerobics class tonight so that should make up for not going last night.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

"God damn, The PusherGod damn, I say The Pusher, I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man" ~ Steppenwolf