Stranger

I know I have not written in a long time. Things have been crazy.

The divorce was final on November 1oth. I am now officially Molly MacGregor.

While dickhead and I agreed that we would work through our finacial matters together, and not get the courts involved, as soon as the divorce was final he stopped doing that. So things have been very stressful for me in that area. I am upeat, I have a very positive attitude about all of this and I know that all will work out. I have a second job that I have been working evenings and weekends which I have been doing for a while. Since I work the second job about 35-40 hours a week I have not had much time to work out, so that has stopped for now. I doubt very much that I will be doing the Austin marathon, but you are all in my thoughts.

I will get back into the groove once things get a bit better with me and my time and my finances.

I will blog from time to time, and I always check in to see what everyone is up to.

Again, you are all in my thoughts.

The Old Way

I would like to start posting my blog again, kind of, the way I used to. So here is my first try at it:

Goals & Accomplishments~

I have been doing more of a basketball workout at the gym, versus my regular treadmill one. Although that is still a workout, and I seem to be using muscles I don't normally use, I need to get back into the regular routing. So now that Jim has joined my gym, we are going to start working out together. What I like about that is that he is very familiar with the machines and I am not. So that will be very helpful for me. We are also going to start playing tennis on the rooftop tennis courts, I am looking forward to that since I used to love tennis and have not played in some time. I will keep you posted on how that goes.

Update on the D-Vorce~

Things are running along smoothly. "R" has been doing ok, seems to leave me alone most of the time. Rarely calls me. Every once in a while he will have a "meltdown" but those are happening less often now. I feel that deep down he really still thinks that we will get back together at some time. For some strange reason he has stopped seeing his counselor, I continue to see mine, less and less though as she really feels that I am doing very well. She has been very helpful to me. He continues to try to play the kids against me, he may have been somewhat successful with our son, since I don't see Nick as often, but someday that will straighten itself out. He isn't as successful with our daughter. Probably since she and Andrew live with me, Jess is pretty aware of what is going on, and even though he tells her certain things, sometimes she tells me and we discuss. I feel that my life is getting better and better. I am only responsible for me, and I am taking all the right steps and becoming happier every day.

Poem of the day~

You were always there
A gentle voice in the breeze
A small tug at my heart
Over the years I never knew
The many places I have been
I never found you
Not quite within my reach
I was never really looking
But maybe I wasn't meant to
Not until now
You are my soul
My heart, feels complete
Full my life is now
It doesn't matter where you were
What matters is where you are

Til next time

Slowing Down

Isnt if funny how many of us have slowed down in the blogging department. Why is that I wonder. And my theory about Dan's blog is that he will never blog again. Would I win any money for that?

I hope that our marathon can still take place in New Orleans. I was glad to see on the news the other day, that the French Quarter and the Garden district have faired pretty well under the circumstances. One of the things that I have always loved about New Orleans is the beautiful architecture, and the wonderful secret gardens that are hidden within the buildings, it would have been such a shame to lose that.

While my workout routine had somewhat slowed down a bit, it is making a comeback. The guy that I have been seeing is really into allot of the sports activities that I enjoy, and he has joined my gym. So not only are we going to be utilizing the machines, he also loves tennis and basketball and we are going to start doing that at the gym as well.

I am very happy, my divorce in in process, the soon to be ex seems to be getting better, and I am really looking forward to becoming Molly MacGregor again!!

Happy-but neglecting my blog

Hello fellow bloggers.

I know, I am so bad, but at least I do blog from time to time, unlike someone else we all know and love.

I am very happy with my new life. As you probably know I have met someone and we have allot of fun together. It is fun but very scary at the same time. We have allot in common which feels very weird to me. Everything we do together we have a blast, there is allot of humor in our relationship and I find that we are constantly laughing about one thing or another. So this new life that I am forming is starting to blossom a bit more.

I have been very busy with my social life, as you can see, but I also got a part time job in the evenings which I have been trying to do for some time, and finally got one. I am working at Coldwater Creek, which is one of my very favorite places to shop, and the 40% discount doesnt hurt either. So right now I am trying to balance the gym with job #1 and job#2.

I promise I will get better at blogging.

Still on Track

I hadnt really realized how long it had been since I blogged, until Adolph yelled at me via e-mail. Yes it is possible to get yelled at in an e-mail. You all know.

So I dont want to be like Dan, and not blog. So I wanted to send an update on what has been going on.

I am still on track on my working out, I am still not pushing it as hard as I should. My life has been very consuming. All is ok on the divorce front. Ron has been very pleasant. So that part is going very well. He has even moved into his own apartment and seems to have given up on thinking he will move in with me. Apparently he is heavy into his therapy, and according to him has been seeing another specialist to deal with his recent threats to me.

So I promise to not leave my blog hanging as I have recently, and be better about posting. I will be be more detailed on what my working out entails later.

thank you friends for your patience.

Crazy Soon to be Ex

Ok, so I know I have been MIB (missing in Blog) but here I am with an update.

The divorce has been filed, papers served and all was well... until last night. I have some death threats, yes, death threats that he left on my voice mail, both work and cell, yes I have saved them. He also called my daughter and told her that he wishes I would die, and that he would like to strangle me. Last week, after he "dropped" his keys conveniently by my left rear tire and took a few extra seconds "finding" them, I had a blowout going 65 miles an hour on highway 36, of course that I cannot prove but I am very suspicious. After he left me multiple I am sorry voice mail messages this morning, he has not called. This is a prime example of his behavior and one of the many reasons why I have left. Sounds like restraining order time.

But other than that, my workout is still going strong, but not as strong as I would like it. I am stepping it up this week though.

don't I lead a fun and adventurous life??

The journey continues…

As the two friends continued on their quest, others joined them. Some blogged, some did not. The members of the rag-tag tribe were held together by those who did blog, and particularly by the two friends who had begun the journey together. They became the spiritual leaders of the quest.

One of the two leaders was sidelined. It doesn’t matter why, it doesn’t matter when, it only matters that it happened. The tribe felt this loss profoundly.

Like Arthur, left by Merlyn; like Peter, abandoned by Jesus; nay, like Mick Jagger when Keith Richards is on a bender, no one felt Dan’s absence more than the tribe’s other leader, and the tribe itself could sense the shifting of a great burden. It adjusted its collective feet and waited, with baited breath.

When will Dan blog again?

It would not do to consider that he might never return. This hideous thought, although occasionally whispered, was never uttered aloud. To do so would be sacrilegious.

The tribe sought him out. Individually, they reached out to him, isolated, on a mountain where he had retreated with one favored tribe member for solace. He answered them only in riddles, in metaphors that meant nothing to them, and all turned away, blinking back tears, or defiantly letting them course down their cheeks.

His return will heal the tribe’s gaping wound and stem the flow of uncertainty.

Much time has passed.

Still, the question is unanswered.

When will Dan blog again?

Thor, may he rest in peace

I am being told that some people are just not getting my posting today, trust me, the article that you pull up is about the sneaky character I have named Thor.



We had a new neighbor recently that met with an untimely death. Thor, he was tall dark, some may have considered him handsome. He spent the days walking along the paths of the complex, kept to himslelf most of the time. Apparently there had been some complaints against him recently. Maybe it was because he was a loner, maybe some didn't like him because he was different. I think he just lost his way, like many of us have done. I never had the opportunity to meet Thor, I wish I had.

His death was featured in the news, here is the link, copy and past in your browser. Thor, may you rest in peace.

http://www.9news.com/acm_news.aspx?OSGNAME=KUSA&IKOBJECTID=1b3e4892-0abe-421a-0115-b2b6349fcb02&TEMPLATEID=0c76dce6-ac1f-02d8-0047-c589c01ca7bf

Dreaming

When I would dream, I was happy
my friends were near, my life was good
Troubles were not around me
And the words, they weren't cruel
But something would always change
I would awake, and the happiness,
No longer there
And now when I dream, I am happy
my friends are always near, life is good
There are no troubles around me
The cruel words, they don't exist
But something is changing
I am no longer dreaming

Neighborhood Meet and Greet

Last night, right before midnight, my building decided to have an official neighborhood meet and greet. There we all were, clad in our PJ's, our dogs and any worldly possessions we could drag with us. Standing in the misting cool air, on the sidewalk. Of course if was a fire alarm, but my daughter said it was the building meet and greet, which I thought was pretty clever. Andrew got to see a big firetruck, and Jess and I got to see firemen. All I know is that one of the apartments that is not yet occupied must have had a sprinkler system going off in there most of the night, there was water pouring out of the door. That must have somehow set off the alarm. One of our neighbors had to climb the fence of the athletic club down the street and rescue her dog from the outdoor pool. I guess the noise scared him and he took off and decided to go for a swim. At least he had some fun.

Gettin in the groove baby

I'm back baby.

I was at the gym bright and early this morning. Feels good to start my day working out. I love this gym, I don't have to bring anything other than a change of clothes, they provide everything.

I didn't overdo it, I just walked about 2 miles on the treadmill, since I have been slacking I want to work back into it slowly and not push myself.

I had a nice quiet weekend. Jess and Andrew were gone to the mountains on a camping/fishing trip so I was all by myself. I cleaned the apartment and watched a bunch of movies. Ahh the life of a single woman, I love it. Forgot to mention that so far I have lost a total of 53 lbs!! I need to lose about another 20 and I will be much happier.

Here is to being back in the game!!

Hike

Last night I went for a beautiful hike in Boulder Canyon. A gentleman friend I have met (yikes) and I went. We hiked to a point where you could see all of Denver, Boulder and beyond. Was beautiful. I have always loved doing this sort of thing but never have, it was fun. We then had a wonderful healthy picnic dinner in the park. A very nice evening I must say.

This weekend I will be on my own, no daughter or grandson. I am planning on spending allot of time at the gym, and at the pool.

Therapy

I had someone recently say to me that they thought I was drifting away from my quest. I have not.

I had my first therapy appointment this week. Since I have had many years of "things" that I need to deal with and get off my chest so to speak, I made this commitment to meet with someone for a while on a weekly basis. It is amazing to me how much the one appointment helped me. I am really looking forward to cleansing my soul and getting this out in the open with my therapist. That night I was even able to have a conversation with my husband and convey to him, once more, that it is over with, and that I need to go on with my life, without him, and that I no longer am in love with him. I told him he needed to go on with his life and get himself straightened out. So far, it seems to have gone well.

So, back to my quest. I have started to work out again, (thank you Jana) I shall continue to go to the gym, I need to get back into my daily workout schedule as I was not so long ago. I miss monsieur treadmill, and I am confident that he misses me too. Nothing like having a man to step all over.

And so see my friend, I have not drifted.

Still in a slump

I am still in my slump. I know it will be over soon. We got the house all taken care of, where we lived prior to my move to my apartment. That has been a big stress that has been hanging over me for some time. There was still this connection that I had with Ron, that was going to stay until we got the house situation settled. I felt like once that was over with there was chapter in my life that would finally be closed. Now I need to deal with other issues. He wont let go and keeps thinking that I am just going through some sort of phase. I know he expects me to tell him to "come home". I wont do that, I have made up my mind and need to go on with my life. And because of the type of person that I am, or have been my whole life, I don't know how to say it to him. I do have a counselor that I will be meeting with tomorrow and I am hoping that I will get the guidance that I need. I do feel like I get stronger and stronger all of the time, but I just want all of this to be over with, so I can go on with my new life.

Poem of the day~

Who am I? I don't think I ever have known
The part of me that died, has now for ever flown
So as I start this venture of self discovery
I will continue on this path to find out who is me

Slump

I have fallen into the slump again. I have not worked out in about a week. I have every intention of doing it, but as Adolph pointed out in his posting this morning, unlike him, I have been able to make those excuses why I cant go in the morning. I shall return.

Poems of the day~

Funny you should feel
That I may not be true
Is it because of guilt
That is coming just from you
Do you come with me to work
Just so you can see
If I have a secret lover
Just waiting there for me
Do you call me all the time
And interrupt my flow
Hoping that your catch me
Out and on the go
Funny your intent
You may feel is the way
Is causing me to wonder
Maybe I should stray

But now I'm on my own
rebuilding my new life
no longer will I worry
of unhappiness or strife
And as the time goes on
The scars away they'll fade
And proud I will become
of the new life that I've made

Signs

The decisions that I have made recently were very difficult, and took a long time to make. There have been some very interesting things that have happened to me along the way. I call them signs. Signs telling me that I have made the right choices. Some of these are very small, and if I had not been in tune with what was going on around me, I would have missed them. Some of them so obvious that they gave me chills. I have to see all of these signs as something positive, as they appear to be.

I was speaking with a good friend this morning who years ago was in a very similar situation as mine. She said that there were walls all around her, that when she made the desion to leave, these walls all seemed to tumble down and she was able to find her way to happiness, as I seem to be doing.

Poems of the Day~

Many of these poems that I am going to be posting, have been written pre my decision to leave. It is interesting for me to read them now, knowing what I was going through at the time, and knowing how my mind was telling me that there was no way out. I would like to post the pre poems, and I will write another verse, or another poem following it, with a newer outlook.

Living in a Cage~

My life resides within this cage
Though beautiful it may seem

Sometimes I look outside these bars
And close my eyes and dream

Is there a life outside of this
Do I wish to be free?

How can I be so selfish
And think only of me

So in this cage I do live
Forever, it may seem

Sometimes I look outside these bars
And close my eyes and dream

But these bars I have just broken
And venture out I must

The freedom that I've chosen
Is right, I now can trust

The road that I now travel
I know, it may be long

But the new life that I have chosen
I know, cannot be wrong.

Til Tomorrow, fellow Bloggers!

Poem

I just found out some awful news about a friend. This person's daughter is in the hospital and might not make it, she had a terrible accident over the weekend. I got to thinking about the complaining that I have done recently about my personal crap, and thought about how lucky I truly am. I just needed to post again to help me with some of the feelings that I am experiencing right now. So forgive me for posting again, but I needed to post a poem:


Complain, I really shouldn't
About the problems I may have
I really should be grateful
And be thankful I’m alive
One tends to take for granted
The lives that we all lead
And don’t think of those around us
That maybe they do grieve

meo~7/11/05

Changes

As I was reading Amy's posting over the weekend, I realized how many of us in the "tribe" are going through changes in our lives. Some of us have moved to different homes, and some of us are also going through personal changes. Interesting.

Lyrics~

Still don’t know what I was waiting for
And my time was running wildA million dead-end streets
andEvery time I thought I’d got it made It seemed the taste was not so sweet
So I turned myself to face meBut I’ve never caught a glimpse
Of how the others must see the faker
I’m much too fast to take that test

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changesDon’t want to be a richer man
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changesJust gonna have to be a different man
Time may change meBut I can’t trace time

I watch the ripples change their size
But never leave the stream
Of warm impermanence
So the days float through my eyes
But stil the days seem the same
And these children that you spit on
As they try to change their worlds
Are immune to your consultations
They’re quite aware of what they’re going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changesDon’t tell them to grow up and out of it
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changesWhere’s your shame

You’ve left us up to our necks in it
Time may change me
But you can’t trace time
Strange fascination, fascinating me
Ah changes are taking the pace I’m going through

Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changesOh, look out you rock ’n rollers
Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes(turn and face the strain)
Ch-ch-changes

Pretty soon now you’re gonna get a little older
Time may change meBut I can’t trace time
I said that time may change meBut I can’t trace time~David Bowie

Poem of the Day

I am creating this life that's new
It feels so free, life without you
It took so long to break this chain
No longer bound I've much to gain
Though letting go is hard for you
The idle threats, the words arent new
Ive heard and felt them most my life
While living with you as your wife
But as Ive said Im stronger now
I can face the challenges, this I vow
So on I shall go to begin anew
My life shall be free without you

meo 7/6/05

Well into it, Again

Since my daughter and I have joined the new athletic club, a hop skip and a jump from our new digs, we have been really utilizing it.

I have been there about 5 times in the past week that we have joined, so I am not doing that badly either. One incentive for us too, is that if we come in at least 8 times in the first 30 days we get a $50 gift card each, that includes Andrew too! So that is pretty exciting. What shall I use mine for, decisions decisions, maybe something at the Spa.

I personally like getting there really early in the morning and getting ready for work afterwards. Since they provide everything you can possibly think of, from shampoo & conditioner, to body soap, towels and everything else I could possibly need to get ready. Plus getting a workout in that early in the morning kind of gets my day going and I feel pretty energized.

Andrew loves it there too, which is an added bonus. He calls it is "other day care".

We met the athletic director there recently for a "meet and greet". Just so that we could ask any questions, and so she could tell us some of the highlights of the club. One of the things that we learned too is that they offer every possible class you can think of, and if they don't have it, you can ask and they will do their best to accommodate you. Jess is really interested in the kickboxing classes, those sound interesting to me too. I will also stick to my water aerobics and yoga. There are some other classes I may try too. For now, it is exciting and fun again to be back in the groove so to speak.

I look forward to stepping up my workout and getting ready for that big Mardi Gras event that is in our futures. I also may walk in the Donor Dash in Denver on the 16th, if anyone would care to join me!

I did it again

Damn, why do I drink so much? And Jana, where were you when I needed a ride home.

Good Morning

I am on track again.

This morning, got up late. Got up at 5:00 AM, got to the gym at 5:30 and walked another 2 miles on Monsieur Treadmill II, the neighbor of the one I was on last night. Watched the morning news on my TV.

After my workout and my shower, I stopped at the cafe in the gym, got my morning coffee and off to work I went. Sigh~

Tonight I shall drink

Starting Again

Well I am getting back to my workout routine.

Jess, Andrew and I joined the Lakeshore Athletic Club, which is walking distance from our apartment. It is just way too cool for words.

I met a new treadmill, his name isn't Mr. Treadmill, it is Monsieur Treadmill, thank you very much. And while I was treading on him, I tuned into channel 9 news on my personal television set and listened to the news. Occasionally I would gaze at the gorgeous bodies outside, playing in one of the 2 outside pools. Every once in a while I would see one of the children sliding down the water slide. This new life of mine is going to be hard. I decided to quit at 2 miles.

Last night Jess and I attended a wine tasting dinner in the clubhouse. A pair of single women we are. I had to make sure and point out that I was mom and this was my daughter, just so there is no confusion that we may be a lesbian couple. Not that there is anything wrong with that.

And as we left last night, we toasted to our new lease on life.

For My Friend-Sunshine

Sunshine
I am here for you
to help you through the pain
I will hold your hand
your strength you will regain
I know that it seems hopeless
The pain it seems too strong
Please let me help and guide you
Friendship's cant be wrong
We both know what your weakness is
Control it you must do
Others in your life
Depend so much on you
So concentrate on them
You know what needs to end
I promise that it will get better
and your heart it soon will mend

Sunshine

Reborn

Excited I start the day
anticipating what is ahead
arriving I feel it
the adrenalin rush
taking in my surroundings
the beauty of the day
I start my journey
the sun in my face
my friends surrounding me
the wind kissing my body
I feel new, feel fresh
I am reborn

Estes Park

Good Morning Friends

It was so nice to meet all of you, and spend a wonderful day together.

I was surprised at how well I did in the 5K. I kept my pace up throughout the whole walk, and could have gone longer. The altitude, which I was worried about, had no effect on me. I am so excited to do this again.

Thank you all so much for including me in this tribe of yours, you are all a great group and I look forward to spending more time together.

I'm Back

Here I am again, trying to be faithful to my blog.

I am guilty of neglect. Although, I think I have an excuse as my life was falling apart and now I am back to start again.

I have also neglected my body and have not been working out regularly, my excuse for this is the same as my excuse for my blog. I am really looking forward to Estes Park this weekend. Even though I have not been faithful to my workouts, I wont let that get in my way for my walk this weekend.

I look forward to meeting all of you on Sunday, my friends, my blog family!

Estes

I anticipate that I will not be able to put in quite as much of a workout as I usually do, in the coming days. So I will just be walking the 5K in Estes, versus the 10K that I originally wanted to do. I am looking forward to it, and looking forward to meeting those of you that I have not met.

Begin Again

My workout today, and tomorrow, will be moving into my new apartment. Thank goodness I switched apartments from the 4rth floor to the 1st floor.

I have spoken to my husband and it is going much better than expected so far. He is being very supportive at this point, but I know what to expect and I have become a very strong person and will deal with anything that comes my way. Actually I am very proud of the progress that I have made and how much stronger I have become. Allot of that has to do with the friends that you surround yourself with, and I know I have a great group of friends, including many of you.

A great friend of mine is getting a truck and will help me tomorrow afternoon with some of the big stuff. My daughter and I are using my truck tonight to take small stuff.

I am looking forward to my new beginning.

Productive Weekend & New Beginnings

I had a pretty productive weekend.

I played racquetball twice, walked 2 miles on the treadmill and took a 2 mile walk with my daughter and grandson.

I am going to the Estes Park event in June after all, I cant let anyone tell me what I can and cant do, I am perfectly capable of making those decisions for myself, as of course I am my own person. Whether I do well or not, or even if I finish or not, is not my goal.

I even managed to squeeze in finding an apartment for myself, my daughter and grandson. I am looking forward to this new change in my life. I have never been on my own and am craving the solitude and peace that I know that I will find with my new life.

Bear with me while I bitch

I am not having a great time handling all the stresses that keep being thrown at me. My subconcious is telling me "great job Molly, keep it up". I have my friends and co-workers telling me that they can see my progress, I am losing weight, looking better, my attitude is even apparently gotten lighter. I am enjoying life, that hasnt happened in a long time. Then I have the other part of my life, my significant other, telling me that I am bringing him down. I hear comments like, "you know you might as well not even do the Estes Park marathon. You wont be able to do well. You know, the altitude is different, there will be hills and the road will be what you are not used to." Thanks for the support honey. And, oh, Molly, the Estes Park thing is on Father's day, you truly dont intend on being there for that day??? My goodness, I will have ruined his day by attending this on the biggest day for him.

I had discussed these plans quite some time ago, both with my husband, and my parents, who will be here that weekend. I was going to go early to Estes, do get my packet of info, and do do the walk. My family would meet me there after the fact and we would spend a nice day in Estes Park. There is a really cool restaurant there that serves this awesome brunch. I wanted to take my dad there for fathers day, after all, it is his day too. But since I will be ruining my husbands fathers day, I guess I should re-think this, and not be so selfish.

I need to remain strong, keep up my work and not let things get me down so much. But it is so hard.

Roadblock

I have crashed head on into the roadblock of life.

As some of you may know we had a little health scare at home and most of the working out that I had been religiously doing every day just stopped. The health issue has been solved, and I will try to get back on track.

Keep me in your thoughts as I start again..

Spoiled

I am reminded of another life I have lead, many years ago. And some of the observations that I have had of other people (not me) and how they have chosen to live. Here is a poem that relfects those observations...

Life of a Spoiled Wife

Off to work he goes
He is in a hurry

The dishes aren’t done
And the laundry is dirty

But alas, does she care?
She doesn’t worry

The crew will arrive
Around 7:30
The nanny to school
The children she takes

And the cook Franz
Tonight, dinner he bakes

And the maid as she cleans
Does also the clothes

Makes sure she is careful
With your silk pantyhose

And you shop and you mingle
Have lunch with the girls

Have your nails, your toes
Your hair done in curls

Once you get home
And the kids are in bed

Your dinner is ready
And your husband is fed

And how was your day dear
He does say to you

I am overwhelmed and the kids
Drove me crazy

And that maid and the cook
They are so lazy

I am tired and grumpy
And must go to bed

Goodnight dear, and where
Are those pills for my head?

Just Call Me Imelda Marcos

Ok, so Jane’s blog about shoes has gotten me thinking of the shoes that I need to get.

Now, since I am involved in a variety of shall we say, sports, this is what I find myself needing, and the amount of money it will take to make it happen:

Volleyball-I have chosen the Asics Gel Monsoon Volleyball shoes, they are only $64.99, but, I need 2 pairs since I also play Wallyball, so that will be $129.98

Yoga, for my classes I have chosen the -Reebok Zanchi Leather Yoga shoes, these will be $59.99

Swimming-Now since I swim a few times a week, I really need to get swimming, or water shoes, I cant afford to scrape my feet on the bottom of the pool, I may ruin my pedicure, so I have chosen the Salomon Pro Amphib Water Shoe Womens which will do fine, these are $84.99

For Racquetball I have chosen the Ektelon QT SE Women's Indoor Court Shoe, 49.99 on sale!!

Bowling- As you all know I don’t have to worry about bowling shoes

Golf-thanks goodness I already have my golf shoes

Walking, since I do walk on a regular basis I decided on the Asics Gel Foundation II Walking Shoe for $84.99

And of course there is my biking, I shall buy the Reebok Cycle Max Fitness Shoe, $69.99.

So for just a little over $500, including tax, I should have all the shoes I need. Gosh I hope I haven’t forgotten anything.

It's Just Like Riding a Bike

On Sunday I went bike shopping. I just wanted a bike to ride the bike paths in my neighborhood. Nothing fancy, just a regular bike. So off we went to Dicks sporting goods, formerly knows as Galyans.

I suppose for a bike enthusiast one would drool over the selection of bikes. I, on the other hand look for the least expensive. As long as it has 2 wheels and a comfortable seat, I'm ok. So there it sits, the $145 bike with my name on it, and it comes in my favorite color of green. The seat even looks like it may not wedge itself up my crotch. Since the bike is beyond my reach off I go on a quest to find someone to help me. The young man gets the bike down for me and I start to ask questions. "Will this be a good bike for just riding around my streets?", "Gosh I am not sure, let me get the bike tech for you." You know, as soon as he said that I thought I should never have asked. Too late, here comes the bike tech.

He proceeds to tell me that this is actually not the best bike, after all, it is a Dick's sporting goods brand, hmm, seems strange that he would not be promoting it, must be the $145 price tag. When I told him I just wanted a bike to ride up and down my street he finally said, well, then this is probably a good bike. He also instructed me on how to properly ride a bike for about 10 minutes. Wow, I am so glad he gave my bike riding tips, after all it has been about 2 years since I rode one, I may not have been able to do it without his help.

Thank goodness for the bike tech. Oh, and the seat does wedge itself up my crotch, in a non fun way, I found this out yesterday on my 5 mile bike ride. I need a different seat.

So for all of you bike riders, Wednesday, June 22nd is bike to work day. I have signed up for this event which will be a total of 12 miles for me. Here is the information if you also would like to sign up: http://www.drcog.org/btwd2005/

Crappy Weekend

Well, I am glad to be at work today. Hopefully this will be a better week than my weekend was.

First of all, I did absolutely nothing at the gym. We had a little family get together all weekend at the hospital, (don't ask). Although if I had worn a pedometer I probably walked quite a few miles between my husbands hospital room and emergency for my grandson.

This will be a better week.

Estes Park

I have finally signed up for the Estes Park 10K. I will be walking. I have been walking about 5.3 miles in 60 minutes. I am sure I wont have a problem with the 10K. Also to train a bit more I have the incline change on the treadmill so that it is more of an uphill walk. And I have been utilizing a school track to do some walking as well. I hope to finally have the chance to meet all of you while I am there.

This weekend will be a crazy one, hot air balloon ride at 5:45 in the morning, working in the evening and moving furniture to storage most all day on Sunday. Somewhere in there will be my workout!

Have a great weekend everyone!

Another Change in my crazy life~

Here I go again, getting a new boss. I am on to my 12th VP since I started here. I joke about the fact that I train them and move them on, sigh~

If any of you know where I can get one of those jars that I can customize to say "ashes of previous VP's" please let me know, I am looking for one. Thank goodness I enjoy my job.

I am feeling melancholy. I think the weather is making me feel that way, thinking of people that are no longer in my life, that have left life. I have a poem for them:

Did you know it was time
Did the pain overwhelm you

Or was it a calming you felt
When his hand was upon you

Did it happen real fast
Or was it slowly overtaking

Was it a peaceful journey?
One that was worth taking?

Did you think of your life
And how it was led

Did thoughts of what could be
Flash through your head

I hope it was painless
And I hope you are well

And I hope that your life
Has good stories to tell

I miss you ~ meo 4/05


Goals/Accomplishments~

I had a good night last night. Wally-ball again was fun and quite a workout. We are getting so good. Last night as I stood there getting ready to leave for wally-ball, in my spandex shorts and sports bra, my son came over and asked me if I'd lost more weight, I told him I wasn't sure if I had. Maybe I should weigh myself and see. One thing I have noticed is that I don't get as tired when I work out, I am starting to push harder and longer with my workouts. Tonight will be the gym.

Later~

It's a new day

What a beautiful day it is today in Colorado. It is windy, but nice.

Now, although Adolph is saying that some of us are getting lazy etc. I am cramming as much as I can, in the short time I have during the day.

I do feel guilty when I cant actually make it to the gym, but I find other ways to make up for it. I think for me it is the act of being at the gym that makes me feel as though I have accomplished something. I do make it there about 3-4 times a week. I work about 60-70 hours a week, so sometimes this is difficult, but I still make it.

Tonight is my wally-ball league. This weekend, one of our local resorts has invited me to go on a hot air balloon ride over the mountains and I plan on using the rest of the day to do some hiking in the mountains. So my racquetball partner and I will play Sunday morning instead.

Each one of my 7 days has some sort of exercise related routine in it. Whether it be at the gym, at the racquetball or wally-ball court, and at home with my exercise ball and weights. I feel good about what I have accomplished, which is to so far lose 55 lbs, feel great about myself and I look forward to wait awaits me in the future.

It's All About Me

I recently received a comment from someone saying that they felt as though my posts were going off in a different direction, and they didn't like them anymore. I will admit, I had strayed a bit. But now I am also getting some comments about missing the poetry etc. Since I initially started this blog to use as an outlet for my writing, and secondly to post my goals and achievements in respect to my getting back into shape, I shall get back to my original format. After all, I am doing this for me. If I get fans along the way, great.

The weekend was great. My son graduated from college on Sunday, and after the 4.5 hour ceremony we went out and celebrated. We are so proud of him, he is a wonderful son.

I lifted weights over the weekend, played racquetball on Saturday. Tonight I start on a bowling league so I will not have time to make it to the gym.

Tomorrow morning I intend on getting to the gym early, before work.

Later

Workout Schedule Part Deux

One thing I forgot to mention about my workouts, I get massages on a regular basis. This helps me relax my muscles. Oh and it felt so good today!

I have a question though, does bowling count as part of my workout routine?

Workout Schedule

Adolph recently commented, asking if I had a consistent workout schedule so I thought I would post so all could see.

I do, for the most part have a consistent workout schedule, which consists of the following:

Tuesday & Saturday's I play racquetball, Wednesday nights is wally-ball, Thursday nights is water aerobics. On the days that I don't have a "regularly" scheduled event happening, such as Monday, Friday, & Sunday I alternate between 4 miles on the treadmill and lifting weights and floor exercises, such as using the exercise ball to do sit ups and leg exercises.

I do try and take one day off a week. Some mornings I get to the gym at 5:00 and swim laps in addition to everything else.

For me, this is beneficial because I am using a variety of routines that give me a total body workout. I have found that when I do take a particular day off I miss going to the gym.

Lazy

I decided to do nothing last night. No water aerobics, no treadmill and I didn't even lift weights. I was lazy. I didnt even set my alarm this morning for the gym.

I find that not only do I feel guilty when I do this, which isn't very often, but I miss going to the gym.

This weekend I have to work most all weekend, my son graduates from college on Sunday, so I am attending the ceremony. However, I will still have time to play racquetball on Saturday morning, get my massage afterwards and I will work out on Sunday. I am even planning on working out tonight. That should make up for being a bad girl last night.

So I have a busy weekend.

Later

Posts

Tis almost the end of the day and off to the gym I shall go.

For those of you that complained, oops I mean commented on my blogs changing their course, I shall stay on my path of training. Although the blogs also started out as my writing avenue I still may post other things from time to time, but will mainly concentrate on my training.

Thanks for reading them, I appreciate it.

Last night was Wally-Ball. We were short 3 people so it was actually more of a workout than usual.

I am contemplating going to the Estes Park 5K in June. I think it will be a good opportunity to see how I do in Estes Park with the altitude difference. Since I am currently walking 4 miles now I am thinking that the 5K will be a good test of my ability.

Hope to see some of you there!

What kind of a relationship do you have with your co-workers? Have you established friendships with some of these people? Do you have after-work get-together's with them? I have been in the corporate world since I was 18 years old. So this is what I have decided.

Be very selective with the people that you work with. Don't get too close, too fast with them. If you think you have a friend in someone, think again. Don't make quick judgments about who you can and who you cannot trust. Don't ever confide in anyone about anything, personal or otherwise until you can bet your life on the fact that they will not repeat it. Don't ever gossip at work. Don't ever believe gossip you hear. And if you are having an affair with someone at work, we all know about it, don't think you are really good at hiding it. Keep people guessing about you, don't let them truly know who you are. Be somewhat intimidating.

Poem of the day~

I may come across as a bitch
But you will never know
I will hold you arms length
I have made that mistake before
I will not let you in
Closed is the book of my life
You will never read those pages
Don't ask me to join you
Because you think you should
Only ask me if you truly want me to
I have played that game before
And have lost more than you will know
So I will stay within these walls
And never let you in


Goals/Accomplishments~

I stayed home last night. Lifted weights and did some other exercises at home. Tonight is wally-ball.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

Im a bitch, Im a bitch Oh the bitch is back Stone cold sober as a matter of fact I can bitch, I can bitch`cause Im better than you Its the way that I move The things that I do ~ Elton John

When I was 5 years old, I learned from my parents that my brother, who at the time was only 15, was heavily involved in drugs and alcohol. My parents never held the truth from me. They explained in detail to me, what was happening and what he was involved with. We struggled with this, as a family for years. And since we lived in a foreign country at the time, after a while my father decided that maybe this was not the best place for an American, who was involved with drugs, was the best place to be. So after dealing with this issue for more than 10 years, my father took a demotion and we all moved back to the United States. But of course, the story was, that we were “transferred” back to the US.

We moved to the country, bought a farm. Multiple counselors and multiple drug treatment facilities, all over the country didn’t help. As we all know, until you are ready, and until you reach the so called bottom, you will never change. So years went by and trouble always followed him. My mom’s jewelry all disappeared, my dads gun collection, gone. My brother would disappear for months, only to reappear again. I learned all about heroin, cocaine, marijuana, at such a young age. Saw the tracks on my brothers arms, saw what alcohol can do to a person, to a family.

I was my brother’s counselor. He would come to me when he would be drunk or high and discuss his problems with me. I was 14 years old and giving advice to my 25 year old brother. Was that fair? Who knows. But I have found out along lifes path that I am a good listener.

Sometimes when people present their problems to you, they don’t want you to solve them. They just want someone to listen to them.

Poem of the day~

Much too young I was to understand
The things you did to them

They never held the truth from me
Though young I was back then

You always had to lie and cheat
and everything you stole

From the ones that loved you most
Missing was your soul

You cheated death a thousand times
Only to come back

The times you should have died
I have since lost track

And though you are still with us
There will always be the shame

The life that you could have led
Will never be the same


Goals/Accomplishments~

I was really bad last night, I did not go to the gym. Got home from work kind of early and finished reading a book. I had bought a new book on Sunday and finished reading it on Monday. So to make up for not working out last night I was at the gym at 5:00 this morning and swam 15 laps. I also have my water aerobics class tonight so that should make up for not going last night.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

"God damn, The PusherGod damn, I say The Pusher, I said God damn, God damn The Pusher man" ~ Steppenwolf

Driving Etiquette 101

Ok so driving etiquette follows many of the same rules as shopping etiquette. The same applies such as looking both ways, certain lanes having the right of way etc.

With driving etiquette there are a few additions. For instance, whenever the weather is bad, such as snow, just because you have a 4 wheel drive vehicle, doesn’t mean you can drive 70 miles an hour. We can all see you have an SUV and good for you, oooh you’re cool. Oops is that you in the ditch? You get my meaning. If you can drive that fast and feel comfortable doing it, just drive the speed limit ok? I have a 4 wheel drive too, but that’s not me you seeing being an idiot.

If you have a hole the size of a quarter that you have scraped off your front window so you can see, stay home a couple extra minutes big boy and scrape off a larger area. That way you can see in all directions, make sense? Good…

If you are afraid of driving in the weather, please don’t drive 5 miles an hour in the fast lane, k? That way the people that are feeling comfortable enough to drive, for instance, the actual speed limit, can get by you. That way we don’t have to pull over, get in the slow lane behind gramps so we can actually try to get in front of you to pass you.

And if you feel this uncomfortable about driving, don’t, stay home and save all of us the trouble. You are the ones that probably shouldn’t be shopping either.


thanks


Poem of the day~

Get the fuck off of my ass

Goals/Accomplishments~

I wasn’t sure what I would be doing this weekend, as far as the gym was concerned. Saturday morning I played racquetball with a friend of mine. I have not played in ages. It was so much fun. It was the most intense workout I have had, in such a short period of time. Within 10-15 minutes you are dripping in sweat. We are going to be playing every Saturday morning so that will be great. I also was on the treadmill at the gym on Sunday and was able to keep with my 4 mile goal. Now I just need up my speed a bit so can get farther in the 65 minutes on the treadmill. Tonight I shall visit my friend the treadmill again.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“No more speed I’m almost there Gotta keep cool now, gotta take care. Last car to pass here I go, and the line of cars goes down real slow, and the radio played some forgotten song, Brenda Lee’s coming on strong, and the newsman sang his same song, Oh one more radar lover gone” ~ Golden Earring

Have a great weekend!!

Just thought I would send a note to wish everyone a great weekend!

I may just go out on the town tonight, very unusual for me. And tomorrow morning is racquetball.

Until Monday~

Thank Goodness It's Friday

Thank goodness it is Friday. I had a TERRIBLE day yesterday, hopefully today will be better. Spent most of the afternoon in my bed. But today is a new day.

Shopping Etiquette 101:

You know something that irritates the heck out me? It is being in the grocery store, and the people that are not familiar with shopping cart etiquette.

This is how it is SUPPOSED to work:

The main aisle of the grocery store, which means the aisles on the outside of the food/product aisles. Those aisles have the right of way. The internal aisles, which are the food/product aisles, need to stop at the end and look both ways before proceeding. You don’t just charge out expecting that the people on the main aisles will automatically stop for you. They don’t need to, remember they have the right of way. You need to treat this as a stop sign. So pay attention, stop talking on your cell phone, stop and look both ways.

If you are in any aisle, including the main one, don’t park you fat ass in the middle of the and visit with a neighbor who you just happen to see in the store, or do some other stupid crap, move to the right of the aisle, which is the correct place to park if you have stopped. This allows people going up and down that particular one to get by your fat ass. Another thing you cannot do, is go down a food aisle, park your cart in the middle, or even on one side, and walk to another part while you get products from farther down the aisle. You need to keep your cart with you, park in front of the area that you need your product, and grab what you need and move on. Remember, you are not the only one in the store.

So when you are all done with your correct shopping routine and you are going to the checkout, remember these things:

• Express lane, 15 items or less-this is exactly what it means. 15 items, or LESS. Don’t go to that particular lane if you have 15 or more. Meaning 16, that is more than 15 okay?
  
• If there is a lane, that says cash only, that is exactly what it means. No checks, ok?
  
• And, last but not least, if you are writing a check, of course in the correct lane, make sure that while you are waiting your turn, or while your cart is being unpacked, you take the time to at least get your check ready. Believe it or not, you can actually, date the check, fill out the grocery store name, and you can actually even sign it, wow. Then all you have to do is fill out the amount.
  

This will save time. Don’t sit there and chit chat with the person behind you, or joke around with the cashier. When this happens, and you get the amount, you aren’t fishing in your purse, or pocket for your check book. And, the person behind you, that has followed all of the correct rules, would get pretty upset. Also, make sure that you get all of the items that you need. If you forget something don’t wait til you get to checkout to have the bagger run and fetch it for you. If you do happen to forget, you’re screwed, you have to either go back when you are done, and buy it, or buy it on your next trip to the store.

If you follow all of these rules, you should have a pleasant shopping experience. And if you failed shopping etiquette 101, revisit the rules as I have stated, or just don’t go shopping. You can always hire someone to do your shopping for you, since you don’t belong in a grocery store.


Poem of the day~

Get out of my way
I am on a quest
Follow the rules
This would be best
If you stop and chat
Please move to the side
That’s rule #1
Of which to abide
Things will be smooth
If you do chose to get
Grandma Molly’s guide to
Proper shopping etiquette

Goals/Accomplishments~

Ok, since I was home most of the afternoon and night, in bed, with a migraine, I accomplished nothing last night. I am not sure I will even go to the gym tonight. I will see how I feel after the drugs wear off.

I will not work this weekend.

Quote/Lyrics of the day~

"Because there’s a monster living under my bed Whispering in my ear There's an angel, with a hand on my head She say I’ve got nothing to fear" ~Everlast

Comedy

I just had to add this link to my site today. I was doing some research and came upon some of George Carlin's comedy. Hopefully you enjoy these as much as I did:

http://www.bodo.com/jokes/jcarlin.htm

I don’t think any of us are in any position to judge one another. Do we make our decisions in life based on the Bible, based on how we were raised? Based on the prejudices that may have been thrown at us growing up? As time goes on, I have realized that I am in no position, whatsoever, to judge anyone for their decisions in life. Who am I to judge?

I want to share a story with you about Lorenzo. Lorenzo, is a double yellow headed Amazon parrot. My dad brought him home one day when I was 3 years old. We were living in Mexico when we got him. Now mind you, this was 40 years ago, almost 41. Lorenzo is still with us, my sister has him in Michigan.

So, like my family, Lorenzo is also bi-lingual. My sister and I had lots of fun with Lorenzo while we were growing up. He can sing and dance, allot of his songs wouldn’t make sense to anyone but the 3 of us. He loves it when you are vacuuming the house, that is usually when he pretends that he is a bald eagle and spreads his wings and fluffs his feathers out and at this time he will usually do a little dance for you. He can cluck like a chicken and bark like a dog, and of course meow like a cat. He has many other words and phrases that he can say as well.

Lorenzo sounds just like my mom, or one of us when he calls out names. For instance, we had a large old farm in Michigan and had some problems with the electrical in the front porch, Lorenzo’s cage was on the front porch. The guy came to fix it and was knocking on the front door, at the front porch. Lorenzo kept calling “Mother, Mother”. The guy said he kept telling what he thought was a kid, don’t worry about calling your mom, just turn on the light for me. He said it took him 10 minutes before he finally figured out he was talking to a parrot. I’ll bet he felt stupid.

Another thing that happened, when we moved from Mexico back to the US, they had just had formalized a policy that you could not bring birds into the US, they had to be immunized and quarantined. We had had Lorenzo immunized (that was fun), but legally he needed to be quarantined. So we sadly left him at the airport while we waited to see what the outcome would be. About 1 hour later the airport personnel called us and told us to come and pick up your GD bird, he is making so much noise we can keep him here anymore. So is the story of how we got Lorenzo back.

And the funniest thing that happened about 10 years ago, at that time, my husband and I had Lorenzo. I went to feed him one morning and saw that he had laid some eggs. So for those of you familiar with birds knows that birds can always lay eggs, they don’t actually hatch unless there has been another bird, of the opposite sex (male) to fertilize the eggs. But, this also means that Lorenzo, is a female, and not male. All those years that we thought he (cant stop calling her, a he) was a boy. I wonder if we caused him any kind of sexual confusion while he was with us? My brother calls Lorenzo, Loresbian now. Not that there’s anything wrong with that.

So here is to our differences, whether you are a Lorenzo, or a Loresbian.

Poem of the day~

I used to sit and judge you
For what you appeared to be

Thinking that what I was
Was the perfect epitome

Living in my bubble
Thinking that my life

Was the center of perfection
And I the perfect wife

But as I do so grow older
And as I look around

I realize that I am not
As perfect as I found

I cannot judge you
For the road that you do choose

If I think that I can
Then I will surely lose

Goals/Accomplishments~

Last night, as every Wednesday night was Wally-Ball, fun as always. I am starting to get my muscles back in my arms. I am starting to get rid of that extra arm that I had on each arm. Yuck. Cant wait to strop tripping over my boobs too, ooops, did I just say that? I am thinking of taking the night off, I'm tired.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“And the sign says "Everybody welcome, come in, kneel down
and pray" But then they passed around a plate at the end of it all
And I didn't have a penny to pay, so I got me a pen and a paper and I made up my own fuckin' sign I said, "Thank you Lord for thinking 'bout me, I'm alive and doing fine", Signs, signs, everywhere there's signs Fuckin' up the scenery, breakin' my mind, Do this, don't do that, can't you read the sign” ~ Tesla

Could this be someone you know?

I have written this poem about someone I know. I dont think this person is being true to themselves. Maybe they dont know, maybe the do and just dont know how to be that person. Possibly it is about someone you know too.

You are not who you think you are
Even I can see

Who you're trying to portray
Is not who you should be

Is it the way you think
That it has to be

Afraid if you change
you will not be free?

What will life become

What might come undone

Right now you're not happy
And even I can see

That right now you are not
Who you were meant to be~ meo 5/05

Happiness

What makes you happy? Is it your spouse, your significant other, your lover, is it your children, your job?

I find happiness in so many things. The way my grandson looks at me and smiles, or the way he says “Gamma, I wuv you”. The way my dogs never ever give up on me, no matter what kind of a mood I’m in. The way the sun shines on the mountains on my way into work every morning. The peace and solitude I find when I am home reading a good book. Sometimes just being alone makes me happy. Falling asleep on the couch while I watch a movie. Going to the movie theatre and watching any movie and getting a large popcorn and not caring about the calories. Listening to good music. Good friends and a great bottle of wine, (Albino Armani Pinot Grigio, best wine).

There are so many things to be thankful for, and so many things that can make you smile.

Keep smiling

Poem of the day~

The room comes to life when you arrive
You smile and the day is new
Happiness is what you exude
All can see it in your face
Your inner peace, demeanor calm
It spreads to all you meet you
Lucky are those who know you
Better we are to have met
Sad was I when I thought
We might lose you
My life is renewed to know you will stay
For now I will hold you close
And never let you stray away

I love you Andrew~ love Grandma 5/05



Goals/Accomplishments~

Wow, did I have a productive night, and morning too!! Last night was my water aerobics. I got there early enough to swim 7 laps prior to the class starting. And then I had the class and that was great as always. This morning I got to the gym, at 4:00 AM, and swam another 14 laps. God do I feel refreshed and alive this morning. But even though I washed my hair 3 times this morning I still smell like chlorine. I guess I will have to get the dreaded swim cap.

Tonight is my wallyball game, which as you know by now I look forward to every week. We seem to be getting better and better.


Quote/Lyric of the day~

“Before you go to sleep, Say a little prayer,
Every day in every way It's getting better
and better Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful,
Beautiful boy Beautiful, beautiful, beautiful
Beautiful boy" ~John Lennon

later~

Crazy Daze

I am not sure about all of you..but doesn't it seem like things just keep getting busier, and busier? A statement that I always found myself saying was. "I can't wait for things to slow down." I have come to the conclusion that things will never slow down. We just have to figure out how to handle our lives as best we can. Juggling mutiple priorites, handling personal stuff, work phone calls, personal phone calls, business appointments, personal appointments, children stuff, financial stuff, e-mails, voice mails, meetings, lunches, dinners, it is amazing to me that I can even keep to my workout routine.

Thank Goodness for Valium :)

Done venting, for now...

You know, I must admit this, the thought of going to New Orleans during Mardi Gras kind of scares me. I love visiting N’ awlins any other time. I love the rich history, the beautiful architecture and the wonderful food. But since I typically am not much of a party gal, I am not sure how things will go there. I know, I know, you’re saying, “what about the bowling shoe incident??”, well that was one incident in my whole 43 years, so that doesn’t count, oh, and I guess there was one other time but we don’t need to discuss that one.

I do tend to open up more, and have been told that I can be pretty funny when I am drinking, but, Mardi Gras, it kind of frightens me. So I am hoping that all of you, my New Orleans teammates, will help me while I am there. Make sure I don’t lose track of my drinks, make sure I don’t say something stupid, and make sure I don’t get lost. I am counting on all of you! I’ll do the same for you ok?

Poem of the day~

Don’t let me get lost
In the party and crowd

Tell me when you think
That I’m getting too loud

Make sure I don’t touch
Anything strong

Those types of drinks and I
Just don’t get along

Don’t want any beads!
I’m much more mild

I don’t want to see myself
On Grandma’s gone wild

~meo 4.25.05

Believe me, that would not be a pretty picture! (think of that picture on Adolph’s blog)

Goals/Accomplishments~

So instead of yoga last night, I decided to go visit, yes, the treadmill. I was worried about how he would treat me since I have not seen him in about a week. You know, variety and all that. Well, when I got to the gym, someone else was visiting my treadmill. So I found a lone one, sitting all by himself in the corner. I decided to give him a whirl. You know, he was so different than the other treadmill. He kept telling me what a great job I was doing, things like “you go girl” and c’mon, you can do it” and things like that. He even commented on how much he loved my workout outfit, “Girl, that is soooo gorgeous, where did you get that?” It was nice, we talked about where I have my nails done. He even noticed that my toes were done too. Mr. Treadmill never commented on things like that, I really like this new treadmill. So, new treadmill and I had some nice conversations while I worked out. Really made the time pass quickly. I like New Treadmill, I think I will use him from now on, we had allot more in common. And guess what I was finally able to accomplish, I walked 4.02 miles on the treadmill!! Finally! Tonight is water aerobics.


Quote/Lyric of the day~

“My one great regret in life is that I am not somebody else” ~ Woody Allen

Guess the topic of this poem

Here is another poem. Guess the topic of this one. I think this one will be easier to figure out:

A solitary life you seem to lead
Slow and deliberate your life is
You are plain and unassuming
Quiet is your voice
And then at once you disappear
No longer are you there
Replaced by sleep and rest
Rebirth
You are awake, different this time
You are bright and loud
Stay with me longer
But again, you are gone
I see you no more
Your beauty has left me
Much too quickly, you are gone

Answer to the mystery poem

I have posted this in the comment section, however, I wanted to answer here as well.

Once I reveal the answer, re-read the poem and see how it applies. The topic of my poem is about a lone male goose that is searching and calling for his mate. He lives in one of the parking lots where I work. He spends most of the day calling for his mate. Geese mate for life and if he does not find his mate he will spend the rest of his life alone. It is sad. But this also is a lesson on poetry to an extent. People tend to read allot into poetry. You can take a poem and translate it to almost anything.

thanks for playing along. I will do this again, soon.

Have you ever been in such despair about your life that you just don’t think you can go on? I have been to that place before.

Recently, I had so many hardships in my life that I just wasn’t sure how to cope. And as we all know when it rains it pours. Just when I think, that it is more than I can handle, something else would come along. And for those of you that are believers, you always hear that God will not give you more than you can handle. I hate to admit it, but I have thought before that If I was just not here anymore I wouldn’t have to deal with all of this crap anymore.

But then you start to think of all of the things that are important to you, mainly your family. They depend on you, whether you know it or not. And if you left them, you would be putting them through the unthinkable. Life really isn’t always fair. And as I have mentioned before, I feel that certain things come your way to make you stronger.

Poem of the day~

How can I leave
My life is so young

Not sure how to stay
I have just begun

But the issues are here
And I can’t on my own

help myself cope
So I suffer alone

Try hard to resolve
But you’re never there

Tend to believe
That you don’t care

The pain that I suffer
More than one can bear

Need hope to grasp onto
There’s just empty air

I know no one can help
Except for me

So I try alone
happiness I’ll foresee ~meo 4/05

You are the sole person responsible for your happiness. No one else is. Make the best of life, live it as full as you can. And if you ever feel that you are in such despair, call me, I am a great listener.

Be happy~

Goals/Accomplishments~

I made it to the gym last night. I decided to swim and was able to swim 10 laps. Over the weekend I went to the sporting goods store and bought the equipment to play racquetball. It has been so long since I last played that I had gotten rid of all of it. So I am going to start playing here pretty soon, and I am excited about that. It is a very intense workout. Tonight, I will more than likely attend the yoga class at the gym, or visit my buddy, Mr. Treadmill.

Don't forget to try and figure out what I am writing about in the poem I published yesterday.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“Here's a little song I wrote, You might want to sing it note for noteDon't worry........ be happy. In every life we have some troubleBut when you worry you make it doubleDon't worry....... be happy.Don't worry....... be happy now!”~ Bobby McFerrin

Guess this poem topic

I thought about this poem while I was working this morning. I have written it about something very specific. Can anyone guess what I wrote this poem about?

I see you, alone
You call to her but she is not there
All alone you wait and look
She has yet to come home
Is she lost, is she alone
Or is she gone
I don’t know if I will ever know
So I see you, alone
Waiting and calling
So sad to see you
You worry and wait
For your only love
And if you never find her
You will be lost
For the remainder of your life
Alone

Good morning.

I have been working most all weekend. End of quarter and all that fun stuff.

I have yet to work out this weekend but I am planning on it today. Not sure if I will use Mr. Treadmill or swim a few laps in the pool.

I hope all of you are having a wonderfu and productive weekend.


Til Tomorrow~

The day is almost over. Hopefully everyone has something fun planned for the weekend, in addition to the training that we are all doing, (most of us anyway). I am going to treat myself to one of my favorite restaurants tonight. I will go to PF Changs, get some dinner and take it into the movie theatre and pig out on Chinese food (American Chinese food) popcorn and pop while I watch a good movie. I love that you can bring your own food into the theatre now!

So obviously I will not be working out tonight.

This weekend I will be working all weekend long, but, I will still make it to the gym, even if it is snowing, hint hint.

So everyone, have an awesome weekend! I may post over the weekend, depends on how busy I get at work.

Later~

Don’t you find yourself sometimes just longing for night? If you’re having a bad day at work, or, if the weather is cold and rainy? You just want to go home, put on your jammies and crawl into bed.

I have found that there are 2 kinds of night. There is the kind that I just described, finding peace, and there is another kind. If you are having stress in your life, nighttime can be a bad time as well. Everything seems so much worse at night. You lay in bed and think of all of the things that are wrong. Sometimes it seems that it is worse as you lie there and contemplate all of your problems. Then the morning comes and it all seems so silly. Granted the problems may still exist, but you can laugh at it in the morning because it just seemed so much worse at night.

I long for the night.

Poem of the day~

The way you move so slowly
Pushing out the day
While you softly move my way

Your touch it is so calm
So cool, and yet so warm

There is a way about you
That stops me where I stand

I long to feel the caress
Of your gentle hand

The dreams you whisper in my ear
I long to once more hear

And as you whisper to me
I’ll slowly drift away

While the darkness takes me to you
And pushes out the day

Goodnight my love~


Goals/Accomplishments~

Since the Rockies game was cancelled (thank goodness) I was able to make it to my water aerobics class. And one thing that I failed to mention that happened in this same class on Tuesday, is that I met a nice lady that spoke only Spanish. So of course she and I connected right away and we talked quite a bit during class on Tuesday, kind of got in trouble though when the teacher made a comment. Something to the effect of, okay now I want you to work so hard that you cant even talk. So that kind of stopped us. The weather wasn't that great last night and there weren't that many people in class. But it was still a nice class.

Tonight will likely be a night off from the gym.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“You know the night time, darling, is the right time, to bewith the one you love, now” ~Ray Charles

Have a great weekend!

Music

Doesn’t music inspire you? I love listening to so many different types of music. Do you truly listen to the words of the songs that you are listening to? So many songs have so much meaning but we find ourselves singing along to the words but not really listening to the messages. I am so inspired by certain songs. There are so many good song- writers out there, such poets. I find that the older I get, the more I find myself appreciating music.

Music to work out to: I have a few songs that I use on my workout routine. A really good CD, is Basia’s “London, Warsaw & New York” CD. Every song on that CD has a great beat to it. I usually listen to the whole CD while I am on the treadmill. Some other good songs to listen to are some of Jason Mraz’s, like “The Remedy” and some others too. I also like Greenday and Audioslave. I tend to have certain songs that I always use in my workout routine.

Goals/Accomplishments~

Last night was my wally-ball get together. It was really an awesome workout. Damn we are getting good. Maybe when we get really good we can start to use an actual volleyball instead of the big pink and blue one that we have been using. Last week when I played I noticed that other muscles that I have not used were a bit sore. Like my upper-body, which is good. I need to try and utilize all sorts of muscles to get a good all around workout. I have to work more on my abdominal muscles.

One of the ladies in this league works with my husband. She mentioned to him the other day that I look like a very athletic person. That is very funny because that is so not true, but I will let her have that illusion.

As far as my workout plans for tonight, I am going to a Rockies game this afternoon, as long as the weather prevails. If I go to the game, and If I get back in time, I will try and make the 6:00 water aerobics class. If not, I may go visit my friend Mr. Treadmill. Oh, and am I looking forward to that.


Poem of the day~

They touch my heart and feed my soul
Those words that are for me

I listen as you sing them
And feel they make me free

Sometimes your words may hurt me
Sometimes they make me glad

Often times remind me
Of the better times I’ve had

Other times I shed a tear
Listening to you speak

Other times your words
My knees, you make them weak

So many feelings you can touch
As you sing your melody

They touch my heart and feed my soul
Those words that are for me

Music~ meo 4/25/05


Keep singing~


Quote/Lyric of the day~

I go to the hills when my heart is lonely, I know I will hear what I heard beforeMy heart will be blessed with the sound of music and I'll sing once more ~From the Sound of Music

Pray for a rained out game tonight!

Run Away With Me

I want to run away
Free my soul

Find a better day
Find a better way

I want to feel the ocean
Washing over me

I want to feel the warm breeze
Waking me

I want to lie naked in the sand
Feel the sun on my body

I want to leave all my worries
And be so free

Come and run away with me~meo 4/27/05

All is well, for now

Have you ever noticed in your daily life, and your day-to-day dealings with people, how much people tend to lack common sense? I once thought I would write a book about it. I would title it, “Stupid people and the stupid things the do”, or something to that effect.

Once I had someone tell me that everyone has common sense, sometimes they just don’t use it. I don’t think this is true. I really think that there are many people that do not have the common sense gene whatsoever. We all can tend to do things, that may seem to lack common sense, but right after we have done them we realize what we have done. The stupid ones never realize.

Goals/Accomplishments~

Last night was water aerobics, and yes I did go. It is usually so nice to get into that pool because the water is so nice and warm. Lately the last few times I have gone the water has been so cold. It takes me 10 minutes just to immerse my whole body. Once I get used to it isn’t too bad.

In this class we utilize weights, those funky noodle things and also various exercises. One of the things that we did in one class was to sprint from one end of the pool to the other, do you know how hard it is to run, in water?? That was hard!

I am so immature for some reason in this class. Especially when the teacher says, “Ok everyone, grab your noodles.” Hee hee. As I look around me at my classmates, I see that all of them are giggling too. You know, the 80 year old women that attend this class with me. We have this class in common, and the fact that most all of us are grandparents.

And you know what else happened to me during this class? Do you ever get that feeling that someone is watching you? Like out of the corner of your eye you can see them? Well, there is a large window that separates the pool from the rest of the gym. And you will never guess who was watching me the whole time! Yep, it was the treadmill. He was giving me that look, you know the look, it is the “two timing bitch” look. Or am I the only one that has seen that look? I will try to explain to him tomorrow, or the next day, that a woman needs variety in her routine. As I walked by him to leave, I even heard him say under his breath “You never wear that bathing suit for me.” He is definitely the jealous type I have found.

Tonight is Wally-Ball!!

Poem of the day~

Friends

In our lives we may have many
Hundreds it could be
They come to us in various ways

Some come for a short while
Some, are here to stay

Cross our paths of life
While we are on its way

While I may claim to know allot
True ones, they are few
They are your friends until the end

That is what is you

~MEO4/05

Thank you for being my friend

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“If the sky above you should turn dark and full of clouds
and that old north wind should begin to blow, keep your head together
and call my name out loud now soon I'll be knocking upon your door.
You just call out my name and you know wherever I am
I´ll come running, oh yes I will, to see you again”~ Carole King

Later Friends~

Wish Me Luck

Remember I said I dont like confrontational issues? Well I need to face one tonight.

This blog of mine has turned into a therapy session for me each time I write. So even thought I have not been here long, blog-wise, it has truly helped me.

So all of you that may read this from time to time, think of me tonight while I face this demon that I need to face. I know I am strong, and I know I will be fine.

tomorrow is a new day

What are you searching for?

I have often said, mostly in a joking manner, that I am not sure what I want to be when I grow up. In reality this is somewhat true. Granted I would say that 43 years old is a grown-up, but are most of us truly doing what we want to do? I think we are always on a search for something.

Within the religious community, people get “their calling”, they seem to be called by a higher power to do the good of the Church, and for them, this seems like their search is over. In this same topic I have often heard it said that there is a voice out there telling you what you should be doing with your life but we cant hear this over the noises of life.

Is there a voice telling you something?

shhhhh……are you listening?



Poem of the day~

As I try to figure out
this puzzle that is life
I sometimes am amazed
at the struggles and the strife
Some spend all of their lives
Searching for that piece
That eludes them through their journey
Of full and inner peace
I have to often wonder
If God has made this feat
That some of life’s puzzles
Aren’t meant to be complete

meo 4/05

Goals/Accomplishments~

I was going to go to my yoga class last night. I didn't end up going. I decided that last night would be my night off from the gym. Tonight is water aerobics and I do plan on being there.

Quote/Lyric of the day~

“Oh, my baby, when you're prayin' leave your burden by my door, you have Jesus standing by your bedside to keep you calm, keep you safe, to keep you safe away from harm”~ Mindy Smith

Another Poem for the day~

You tell me I am beautiful
The words they sound sincere

To believe you when you say them
Is something that I fear

Do you say them in the moment
Or do you truly mean those words?

To tell me that I am beautiful
Is not that often heard

So do I revel in that feeling
Of the words you say so free

Or is it just a mind game
That you like to play with me?

Tell me?

I was not able to get to the gym on Saturday. I had planned on it but worked for part of the day, and went to Costco. After buying the whole store I used the rest of the afternoon to figure out where I was going to put everything.

Then came the babysitting for the night. We watched our grandson Andrew while Jess, our daughter went out. Andrew and I have lots of fun together. He is so funny. He is at that stage where he talks and talks non-stop. About everything. What I actually think these conversations consist of, are that Andrew is using every word that he has in his 2 year old vocabulary and uses all of them in various sentences. He has even been know from time to time to use certain words that no 2 year old should ever say. But, being a parent myself, I know that he is not the first 2 year old to do this. So I didn’t get to bed til 4:00 AM, since that is when Jess got home.


Goals/Accomplishments~

Worked for a bit on Sunday and I was able to get to the gym as well. And as a wise fellow grasshopper recently pointed out to me, to embrace the treadmill, as it is my friend, I was able to do that. In fact the treadmill and I are getting to be very good friends. Again, I heard him say to me today, “hey beautiful, you’re back! You want on top again?” So you see, we are pretty close. I was only able to walk 3.82 miles. Since the treadmill can only be programmed to 60 minutes, 65 including cool down, I need to speed up my walking to get to the 4 miles I want to get to. And as I left the gym I told the treadmill that I would see him again soon, and yes I’ll want on top, again.

Poem of the day~

I cant explain it, just seemed to happen
Thought all was well, but apparently wasn’t

Enjoying the game, but not paying attention
The night just flew by, too much drink, not to mention

And as I left, which I can’t seem to recall
Can’t believe I remembered my bowling ball

What should have been minutes, was hours it seems
Thought my house was much closer
don’t recognize these scenes

And then a voice came to me as I drove all alone
Is that you God? Oh wait, it’s my cell phone,
“where the hell are you?”, this voice said to me
I have not a clue, and I really have to pee

And as I was rescued, and guided back home
I was grateful to be safe, and not so alone

And upon trying to fall on the safe haven of bed
I thought I heard these words in my head

Honey, can you share with me this news,
Why the hell do still have on your bowling shoes?

meo 4/05

Never, ever ever ever drink and drive!!!!

This will go down in history as the “bowling shoe incident” I am sure you have heard of me, oops, I mean I am sure you have heard of this person, sheesh, I cannot believe she did this!

Quote/Lyric of the day~
“I need some distraction, or a beautiful release, memories seep from my veins let me be empty and weightless and maybe I'll find some peace tonight" ~Sarah McLaughlin

Until next time~

Ok, so I really had not planned on posting to my blog over the weekend, but just had to share this. I worked out last night at the gym, the good little girl that I am. And I came to realize that the treadmill, you remember, the one that told me to get my fat ass off of it? Well, If I had been listening instead of planning ways to destroy it, I would have heard the whole thing. The treadmill was actually telling me, to not only get my fat ass off of it, but the next sentence would have been "and figure out how to program me so I dont stop after 1 hour." Aha, no wonder it keeps stoppping on me. So, next time, which would be tonight, I will actually program it to go longer than the 60 minutes that I have been on it. Maybe this time I will actually be able to make the 4 miles that I am trying to go.

That's all for now, just thought I would share this. I have actually forgiven the treadmill, and unless it does something strange, or whispers nasty things to me, all is well with my relationship with the treadmill.


Later~

Be Strong

I am stronger now

Life’s lessons can be hard. We tend to avoid that which could be considered confrontational. I have never been one to be a confrontational type of person, and would consider myself one to avoid it at all costs. We all have disturbances and tragedies in our lives that cause changes. And because of these issues in our lives, they can either make us a stronger person or they can make us give up.

Although at the time we never realize that these explosions in our lives may be there for a reason, at the time they are happening we cant think past them, and if we are lucky we can make it through them and learn a lesson from them.

An example of this would be being diagnosed with a terminal illness. When you find out about this, you can react in one of two ways, you can give up, and dwell on this for what is left of your life, or you can use this as an opportunity to live out what is left of it and enjoy everything that you possibly can, in a new light. Knowing that you don’t have much time, you can relish what you have. Personally seeing this through my own eyes, I have found that the ones that give up, tend to leave us more quickly, in body mind and spirit, and the ones that decide to make the most of it, end up having a much richer experience. I have even found some of these cases where people will actually win the battle against the illness. This could be prayer, power of positive thinking, call it what you will.

The lessons in my life have made me a stronger person. I have had many of these explosions in my short life. Each time they happen to me, I know that things will get better, they have to get better. I always tell myself that because negativity is such a strong thing, it breeds. If I was a negative person I would never have gotten this far in my life. I now tend to avoid anyone that comes into my life that is a negative influence.

Each one of these negative, life changing experiences has made me a much stronger person. My life would not be the same had I not gone through them. And each time it happens I become stronger, and stronger, because of them.

Be strong

As I mentioned in my post yesterday, I decided to take last night off. Although I did have domestic chores to do, so that may have counted as part of my training routine. You know, going up and down stairs about one thousand times. So maybe I didn't take the night off after all.

Goals~

My goal for tonight is to work out at the gym. I would like to make it to the 4 mile mark on the treadmill but we shall see. And another goal for today is to get out of my pissy mood. I am almost there, maybe if I write a more upbeat poem that may help.

Poem of the day~

Like a gentle giant she fills the sky
With colors, bold & bright
Given life from a flame
she takes off for a flight
She has so many stories
if only she could say
A distant dream above the clouds
she'll take your breath away

She glides along the clouds
and she skims the tops of trees
She shows you natures beauty
as she glides along with ease

Man will never tame her soon
she's guided by the wind
And who would ever guess
she is but a balloon.

meo

I wrote this poem for some friends of ours in Michigan who own a hot air balloon called the "barnstormer" about 15 years ago


Quote/Lyric of the day~

"I want to touch your face, I want to get a sense of place
Before we step out into the sun”~ Johnny Clegg

until next time~